Oh SHIT, that isn’t gonna fit!

So first off, I’d like to apologize for my absence in posting this. Re-adapting to shore life has been a bit more difficult then expected, and while I have tons of half finished blogs, I lacked motivation to finish said blogs. Finally after Panda pretty much kicked my ass into gear, here is the first of a few blogs I’ll be coming out with. 

 Oh SHIT, That isn’t gonna fit!  

Okay, so. At some point in your lives, you might stumble into a partner where you realize that their physical size might not exactly mesh well with your physical size. Fear not! As a guy who’s had this problem more then a few times, I’ll give you my advice on how a large pole can fit a small hole and get fireworks instead of “ow ow oww”. 

So depending on how tight tight is, you have many different options to expand upon. The basic is lubrication. The right lube will definitely allow the two of you to slide closer with ease and many couples don’t think they need it. Now in my case I use a quality grade silicone lubricant that any sex toy store will recommend. You’ll want a medium viscosity so you get the staying power of a heavy viscosity but the glide of a light viscosity. Always ask for help no matter how embarrassing it might seem. Now slightly off subject, depending on what type of sex you are having will tell you what type of lubricant to use. For vaginal sex a water-based lubricant is a good start but if it still isn’t fitting right you can switch over to a blend or silicone based. For anal sex I always recommend using a silicone based lubricant due to the high absorption rate of the anus. (note from Panda: Also keep in mind that no matter how good a silicone lube is, it can and will ruin silicone sex toys. So keep that in mind as well) 

Now that we got the lubrication lets talk about foreplay. For people who have issues with making things fit, foreplay is extremely crucial because it gets their partner to relax their body and opens them up more for sex. Foreplay should always involve fingering and stretching in every way to get their body used to the idea of being penetrated and being receptive towards it. Start out slow by rubbing your fingers around their anus or vaginal opening and pay special attention to any part that causes your partner to react positively. It isn’t unusual for this to take a bit of time so go slow and have fun with it.

Now if all of this doesn’t seem to work I have two other tricks that will always get the job done. The first of which involves a personal favorite of mine. Shower Sex! Sex in the shower is great for a number of reasons. It can be a fun surprise for your lover, also it is a great way to clean up without having to wash your sheets. But the great reason for shower sex for those with endowed lovers is that being in the shower naturally relaxes your body’s muscles and provides a lot of natural lubrication which will greatly help when having sex. Use a good amount of hot water and again, spend time on foreplay by washing your partner and getting them to relax. Position yourselves so that the water is spraying between the two of you so that you can use the water as a lubricant. If you want you can also add silicone lubricant as it won’t wash away while having sex in the shower.  This should really help make things comfortable and help things slide together a lot easier. Second: A fun sized dildo or anal plug. Nothing too big and it should be smaller then you or your partners penis size. The general concept of this is that if you can get them adapted to something almost but not quiet your size right before you have sex, it should allow you to be more open to receiving something of a larger size in a short amount of time. As some of the guys on my submarine would so lovingly put it, you don’t let the most hung guy at an orgy go first. Now to let you know, this is really just another form of foreplay. You are using a sex toy instead of a finger, tongue etc to get your partner ready to take you. So have fun with it and use it to find all the their spots that make them go “OH”. How long you guys use this for will really depend on what works for you but it’s pretty much a sure fire way to make even the largest dicks fit into the smallest holes.

Until next time.

Mike Tango.