Monday, October 14, 2013

5 Things I Didn't Know About Squirting Until it Happened

1) Being able to squirt doesn't change your orgasm habits. Before I started squirting I was a multiple kind of gal. Like, 3-4 per session depending on the partner and the length of time we're having sex. Apparently there is just a never-ending fountain of this stuff inside my body because it just keeps coming out, man. This results in, I kid you not, two foot across puddles if they all happen when I'm in one place on the bed.

2) It doesn't always have to be a result of a g-spot orgasm. The first time it happened to me, I wasn't even with a partner, I was using my vibrator externally for like the 3rd time that day/afternoon/I was home alone for the weekend and bored don't judge me. "Did I just pee? Squirting is just from g-spot stuff isn't it? I guess I should sniff it, oh god I am such a weirdo. Doesn't smell like pee. Hm." Don't worry, fellow clitoral orgasm-ers. You didn't pee. You actually squirted, as long as it doesn't smell like pee.

3) It is NOT, however, completely odorless. At least for me. There's no really STRONG smell but it's...musky? That sounds so gross, like I'm a skunk or something. But it smells like sex happened (duh). You know that distinct smell in a room when sex has happened? It's like that. If she says "sex happened" one more time, I'm leaving. Talk about repetitive. Geeze.

4) As a woman who has no problem going down on a guy mid-sex, I am familiar with the way my vagina tastes. My "normal" self-lubrication has a distinct taste that I'm not going to describe because that would be weird. However, ejaculate really doesn't taste like anything. At all.

5) It makes...a sound. It's not loud. Quite honestly it's just a whisper. But it's there. The best comparison I have is a squirt gun except it's really, really quiet. A squirt gun? is this girl batshit? I never claimed to be eloquent. I also never claimed to be the sort of person who never talks to herself in a blog post.

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